ELEVEN WAYS OF HELPING OTHERS

I found this list on a blog on Tumblr.com posted by Dancing Dakini

The list of eleven ways of helping others deeply impressed me and I thank Dancing Dakini for their wisdom and kindness in posting this list for all of us.

I have written my own thoughts under each line item and hope these are helpful - I should point out that my comments are very much my own and not those of Dancing Dakini, but I hope that our dancing friend will approve :)

1) Alleviating the suffering of others and offering assistance in their work

When we meet people we never really know how they are feeling - are they suffering in any way - are they in pain either physically or mentally - maybe they are feeling fine and happy, which is great - but the bottom line is that everyone we meet at some time in their lives will suffer - be it depression, loss of family and friends, illness, loss of a job or position, an unhappy marriage or relationship - there are thousands of ways that we can suffer, therefore when we meet anyone it is so important to think kind and loving thoughts about them - why? Because they are just the same as you and me - I know its not always easy to think like this  - you get a parking ticket and you want to shout at the traffic cop - someone at work takes credit for something you have done and you want to scream - a manager gets angry at you for something you haven't even done - believe me we've all been there! 

Its not easy to be kind and compassionate to everyone you meet, but we can try and it becomes easier every time you think to yourself this guy or gal may be in pain or is suffering - try to be maybe a bit more understanding and show a compassionate front whenever possible - your own happiness will grow and grow - there is nothing more important than helping others to find happiness in their lives - and it brings happiness to you too..

2) Teaching worldly or spiritual skills to others

This is never easy unless you follow a deeply spiritual path yourself - this point is NOT about saying I am a Jehovah Witness or a Shia Muslim or a Pentecostal member, Mormon, Catholic, Protestant, Shia or any organised religion saying you must join us! - What this means is entirely about your deep inner values and the things that are more important than anything else in this world - LOVE, CARING, COMPASSION, HEALING.

Its not about indoctrination into some sect or even mainstream religion - its about how you live your life and about how you relate to everyone you meet - Its also about how you look after animals and caring about this incredibly amazing planet we live on - if we do not develop our compassion towards all living beings from the smallest ant to the largest elephant - to the poorest humans to the richest and most powerful - caring for black, white, red, coffee or yellow coloured people - who cares what people look like from the outside - this is not a fashion parade. party prom or media frenzy - its what is inside you and everyone that matters. 

We all have blood, we all get hurt both physically and mentally from time to time - we all suffer - no-one is better than any other - when I hear fundamentalist Christians, Muslims, Jews, Hindu's or whomever shouting from the roof tops that they are RIGHT and THE ONLY PATH - this is utter nonsense - THINK ABOUT IT - the ONLY PATH is LOVE, CARING and COMPASSION - that is the heart and mind of any religion and of any human being - you can have faith and belief - that is your choice, but faith and belief WITHOUT a peaceful, loving, caring, compassionate path is no path at all.

Teaching people this, from a young age to old is a gift and a blessing to all sentient beings.

3) Returning the kindness we have received

This is so important - think of the love our mother gave us when we were a baby - I know there are terribly sad exceptions when babies are abandoned or treated cruelly, but most times a mother loves us completely and unconditionally - it is the most powerful love of all - and yet when that mother becomes an old lady and needs our help to look after her how many times do we read of abandonment in old folks homes - terrible loneliness, deprivation and cruelty - of course there are many loving families who look after their elder grandparents or great grandparents but it is so important to return the kindness we have received.

On a day to day basis even a returned smile matters - helping someone who has helped you - all these things matter enormously - they foster love and kindness in peoples lives and you can't do better than that. Bringing happiness is the greatest gift you can bestow on anyone - please remember this.

4) Removing dangers that threaten others and eliminating the causes of fear

This is not always easy but you would be amazed at the things people fear - it can be a fear of spiders or mice - or a fear of flying - a fear of speaking in public - a fear of crossing the road - a fear of open spaces - a fear of enclosed spaces - a fear of living… There are so many fears aren't there? People get scared of interviews; of making mistakes at work; of telling people they've made a mistake or done something wrong - we've all been there haven't we? 

Being there for someone means so much - helping people face their fears and helping them overcome them is part of the loving compassion that should rule all of our lives. It is a gift we can all give one another. Probably the greatest fear that all of us have is the fear of dying. Yet we rarely talk about this do we? Its something that is best not spoken about - we'll worry about that when the time comes - shove it under the carpet or the bed - pretend it doesn't exist and only affects other people not me! Well sorry guys its the one thing we will all achieve very successfully - that is dying. If you have the opportunity please read an extraordinary book titled "The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying" by Sogyal Rinpoche - it is an incredible read, quite fascinating and not scary at all - it is actually a joyous revelation and can be read by anyone of any religion, culture or belief (or non-belief). Suffering can be overcome and we can overcome this by following a true, peaceful and loving spiritual path based upon LOVE, KINDNESS and COMPASSION - they are all that ultimately matter.

5) Consoling others when they are in grief

This point is very easy to understand - when people are truly suffering - through maybe loss of a loved one - to console them and be there for them is so important - we all need support from time to time and the all important spiritual path of love, kindness, caring and compassion naturally flows into consoling and helping people at all levels of day to day life. Kind support from another human being can mean everything to someone who is sad or in pain from grief - it is in your hands and your power to help everyone - and it will bring happiness in the end to both of you. 

6) Giving material assistance to the poor

Its not always possible to help and assist those unluckier than us at certain times in our lives - we may also have money problems - how to pay for the kids schooling; that damned speeding fine; the roof needs repairing; the business is in trouble… However, whenever you can all of us should do everything possible to help those less fortunate than us.

I have met and worked with a number of multi millionaires over the years, some of whom have been incredibly generous, participate in and donate to numerous charities - and helping at ground level as an example by providing food and shelter for the homeless - but I have also met many who are like Scrooge and do nothing or very little to help anyone - its great to make wealth for yourself and your family but not at the expense of hurting people - you can only sleep in one bed, watch one television, drive one car! Its also a gift to take care of people as much as you can afford to. 

There is so much poverty and unhappiness around us - it takes only a little giving and kindness to make a big difference

7) Helping those who experience problems that come when they have anger or desirous attachment

That most devious of problems "attachment"! I have had numerous fierce debates over the years about "attachment" - what do we mean by attachment and how can it be such a problem to cause anger and distress? Quite easily if you think about it.

We all get attached to someone or something - people become obsessed and attached to their work to such a level that it can affect families, marriages, their health and so forth. How many people are attached to money and making more money almost to the oblivion of everything else - attachment to accumulating power - this could be political power or it can mean power over others in the home, works place, club or society. Have you noticed how some people become so attached to their pets almost to the exclusion of all else - Men and women become so attached to their partner that it can get to a point that causes terrible jealousy and protectiveness at a level that causes much distress, pain and anger. 

True love is not about ownership of someone to the point of entrapping your partner so that they can't even speak with someone of the opposite sex - how many people live miserable married lives - I call it MARRIED ALIVE!  You see it all the time - the controlling husband who won't let go of the television remote control - the wife who has to watch endless sport because their husband won't let her watch what she wants to see or visa versa!

Good loving attachment is one thing - but greedy, obsessive and hurtful attachment is deeply damaging and if you can help people who suffer from this kind of attachment by pointing out that loving someone is wonderful, but being so attached to that person or work, money, property, gold or whatever is so wrong if it causes anger, pain and hurt. Think about it!

8) Helping others in a way that is appropriate to their own views and customs. We need to offer help in a way that is relevant to the them that they can accept, without attacking their beliefs or views.

People need to be communicated with in a way that they can relate to - with so much immigration everywhere - the diaspora of cultures is hard to keep up with. We read of so called "honour killings" of young women who do not agree to an arranged marriage - or of the dreadful abuses of women in many societies including millions of young girls and women who suffer the appalling FGM (female genital mutilation) - how can we help these people and indeed those with a whole string of less brutal but no less worrying problems. Most of these issues are cultural and religious where lack of education, wrong information, abusive practices, social and family pressures can cause intolerable harm - so how do we deal with these problems?

Education is one important route but on a personal level it often helps to quietly but convincingly talk to these families or whomever is facing the problems and try to find a common path or ground upon which to talk - it is no good crashing in and saying you are "totally wrong" or "wake up you're living in the 21st century now" - this doesn't help - we need to always be aware of people's beliefs and cultural background - I suppose ultimately it always comes back to those basic but such important words - CARING, LOVE, COMPASSION, HEALING & KINDNESS  - with these words affecting your every day life and as a guide to your way of thinking and how you live your life - you can inspire and guide even the most virulent cultural blindness and violence - I don't pretend its easy but we all have to begin the path of teaching people the real values that matter - VIOLENCE, HATRED, JEALOUSY, IGNORANCE, "PRIDE" (I'M RIGHT AND YOU ARE WRONG), AVARICE will always cause terrible SUFFERING

9) Encouraging those who have entered correct spiritual paths and helping them continue their practice

"Correct spiritual paths" - this is so difficult to define and yet so easy.

I personally follow a Buddhist path of meditation, mantra and tantra because it is such a loving, kind and compassionate spiritual path - it brings peace and joy and happiness to me and hopefully for all sentient beings - you meditate to not only bring peace and happiness for yourself but you do this so that you can help all people to find happiness and to stop suffering. Having said this I am not trying to make anyone a Buddhist - that is solely your decision

Buddhism is not a faith system - the three so called great religions that came from the Middle East Judaism, Christianity and Islam have dominated our history - produced great teachers and saints or saintly people who were healers and brought great joy into peoples lives - but these religions have also caused more pain and suffering than anything else - hundreds of millions of people have died in the name of God. Isn't it about time that today billions of people live in peace and harmony?

Religion, whatever path you choose has to be about kindness, caring, love, healing and so forth - it cannot be about vengeance; domination; we are right and everyone else is wrong; do people really believe that God wants people to kill others? Its impossible - we are created equal as human beings and it is our duty to take care of others and the animals and planet around us - we have the brains, the mind and the responsibility this gives us. Not to kill just because someone doesn't believe in what you believe - this is unforgivable and we must eradicate this thinking but show the world that we care, we love and we want to bring peace, happiness and love to everyone - No this is not some whacky new age thinking - this is essential to the lives we live and without it I truly believe the human race cannot survive.

10) Helping those who have entered wrong paths and mistaken views to enter correct spiritual paths.

I think I tried to deal with this in (9) above - but the important criteria is to try and make people realise that when their teachings advocate any form of harm to any being - they must be made to realise that this is so fundamentally wrong. No-one has the right no matter who they are to kill or harm anyone - this is the basic law of humanity - all the religions clearly state this - but then mankind gets involved and in the name of God declare all kinds of laws and rights and wrongs - all man made and all in the name of God. It is terribly convenient to blame God for what men have declared - I believe in the human race but humans need to be educated to think for themselves - and to learn to think clearly and objectively.

I met a nice young man recently who declared himself to be a fundamentalist Muslim - we talked in a perfectly friendly way - he was a nice young fellow but after awhile he started saying things that made no sense whatsoever - "I hate music" - I hate dogs" - I said to him how can anyone hate a dog - or hate music - its hard to hate Beethoven's ninth symphony or  other glorious compositions - you can say you don't like a piece of music that's perfectly reasonable - but to say you hate all music makes no sense whatsoever - likewise "I hate dogs" - you might be a bit frightened of dogs, you make not be interested in dogs but to say you hate every dog is not only idiotic but makes no intelligent sense. He said these were the teachings -  well I am sorry all teaching can be questioned indeed they should be questioned because they were made by men and women - made by flesh and blood - I do not believe that any God that created all of us (if that is what you believe) would say "you can love cats and sheep and cows but not dogs"? People have to use their brains and not blindly believe some teachings that are so obviously wrong at every human level.

How can you hate a living and breathing creature - this brings into mind the statement that human beings are supreme - well we are not - all living creatures are important - without the trees and plants you wouldn't be able to breathe - without insects, birds and bees pollinating tress and plants you would have any of them and you would die eventually - I not a biologist but you get the point.

Everything is interconnected - without the moon, the sun, the rain and all of the supporting life that this wonderful plant provides us - we wouldn't be here - so damned well respect every form of life - this is logical and nothing to do with religion - but of course it has to do with religion - why because all religions teach love, caring, kindness and compassion - so please don't forget the most important thing in our lives - is to help others and to care for everyone of all creeds, cultures and colours - we are all one and it is our duty as humans to care for one another and this fabulous planet we live on - and never forget it please. 

11) Helping others by using whatever miracle powers we possess.

Last but not least in this eleven point list - what miracle powers do we possess? We possess the most amazing powers to help and heal - we have our MIND and this is such a powerful thing if used with love and caring. I wrote a long blog on MIND last September so I won't go into great detail - but we have the ability to achieve great things - and that goes for all of us. Our love and compassion can bring peace and happiness to people and animals

We have the ability to heal - there are numerous books on this subject but we know that everything in this world is ENERGY - everything is made up of atoms and quarks and other scientific names at different levels - the atoms in a table or chair are not the same structure as those in humans but they exist - I'm no physicist so forgive my rather feeble attempts to explain energy - however, it is a fact that everything is energy and we can use this energy in positive, loving and healing ways - MIT, Yale, Harvard and other leading universities have done major research into energy levels and how we can heal ourselves of the most virulent diseases - Meditation is a proven route to bring peace and healing to each of us and that has nothing to do with religion - but is a spiritual practice to heal ourselves and others.

This is not the blog to go into great depth into these issues but I pray that all of you will think about what we do every day and how we can use our tremendous powers of our mind, creativity, love, compassion and kindness to bring some happiness and peace into this troubled world of ours - please think before you explode in anger - please think about the suffering that people go through - please think about how you can bring some happiness to everyone you meet - that is a real spiritual path

Thanks for reading